Thé dream job BABY

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Go ahead, ask me what i do for a living… I dare you !

I got a call the other day from one of those, – i’m- gonna -sell-random-weird-stuff-to-you-over-the-phone… and ofcourse she wanted to know what i do for a living.
My response? “I’m a stay at home mom.”
Ooh wow, thats luxury. I’d love to stay home all day, but  you propably get bored real quick.”

Well i guess what i do, is way damn better than her job.

But ooh honey, let me tell you how much you would love to:
Wake up every morning at 5 am to make sure your husband gets up for work
Pack him lunch and make him breakfast
When you say goodbye, tiptoeing through the house and sneaking into your own damn bedroom. Scared that you could loose another half an hour of sleep if one of the kids wake up you are screwed babe.
Having an alarm clock that wears footsie pajammas and wakes you every morning at six…. thats to say if you got back to sleep.
Making breakfast , not for yourself oh forget all that you get is a cup of joe. And you wont even be able to drink it in peace promise you that.
Oh and dont forget to clean up the mess, coz i mean… you dont want to get “bored real quick” now don’t you ?

After that you get everyone dressed, so that, if seen in public they dont look homeless, like they do when they are actually at home. Oh and you dont get dressed just yet. There is no time for that. Make sure everyone has something to amuse them with and go about your chores…. you know like, making beds, scrubbing floors, cleaning toillets, picking up toys, vacuming, mopping floors, doing the dishes and the laundry. And in between all of that you have to be available to anyone of the children 100%. For snacks, ouchies and booboos, to watch them go to the potty (yup, thats a big thing for them), change of wardrobe, nappy changes, bottle feeds, naps, ramdomly crying for nothing. The list goes on I just dont have the time to list them now i have a pending potty trip now…

Okay i’m back.

You have to clean up puke, pee and poop. Maybe over the floor, maybe over the couch, maybe on your bed but most of the time on YOU. Then before hubby gets home you hope and pray that baby is still napping so you can quickly take a damn shower. So that you atleast smell nice and not like pee or poop. Then you pick up all of the ‘new-old’ toys they found so that it actually looks like you did clean the damn house. You make dinner.  And go watch your soaps…. ahhhh this is life…. nope ! Its on damn disney channel. And baby just woke up. So you manoeuvre around with her on your hip to finish dinner, oh and did i mention the growing belly (ya, thats lil monster nr 3 in there). While you finish up a shit load of other stuff.

He gets home. You need a break… just five minutes but nope. You first put your toddler in the shower. Get her dressed. Bath the baby, get her ready for bed. Then you shower… again. And when you want to climb in bed thats when a million and one things go wrong ! Baby need a nappy change, baby needs a bottle, toddler needs cuddles and a quick change of movie and wardrobe…. or a snack, a drink of water…did i mention a wardrobe change? More toillet breaks, maybe she needs a pink fluffy dinosaure with red spots and one green eye.. and believe me even if you are running on fumes you have to perform magic in times like these….

Finally get to bed… so hubby needs some loving (you know… like cuddles and stuff) during the night you have to get up a billion times. 5 min into the unknown world where you think dreams come true and that unicorns exist. Its 5 am and the day starts all over again.

So please tell me again how i bore mysef to death just chilling at home. With my feet up. Sipping cocktails. With umbrellas. Wearing chanel nr 5 instead of poop…
Still want to be me?

Honey, you dont know what you’re missing because i wont trade this for the world !!

But ask me what i do for a living.
I dare you!  😉

XoXo Pikkie

Second or third wife syndrome ?

Second -wife/husband -or -third wife/husband -syndrome?

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A well discussed subject! The reason why I chose to do an entry about this is because I am a third wife myself and i have been asked countless times about this and all that comes with it! What a tough position to be in right? But it doesn’t always have to be. But we will get to that in one second. But first, the awful experiences, and how I or the person in that situation, have responded to them.

Scenario: Being judged by the wifes/husbands before you. Who also had to deal with this?

Respond: I feel it’s so unnecessary and a waste of time! He/She has moved on and they can’t seem to deal with it. When will they ever realize when he/she is truly happy their opinion will not carry any weight at all! Ignore it and be the better person. You don’t need their judgment at all. All that matter is what your partner thinks of you not their ex.

Scenario: Also children out of previous marriages.. In my case my husband had two previous marriages and a child was bared out of each. I got pregnant as well. Love of my life. Well with YOUR joy comes their jealousy and hate as well. I got a series of texts saying: ‘”’you will never be the mother of my child’’.” ‘’”Your child will never be anything to me or my child’’ ….” And the list could go on.

Respond: I let her know that she is in fact right. That nor me or my child is anything of her. But we can’t deny the fact that my child and hers share the same father and even if we wanted to, there’s nothing to be done. And I won’t let her influence the relationship I have with her child at all. She can’t choose who she wants to be a part of her daughter’s life. Soon her daughter will be old enough to choose for herself but in the meantime. Just be yourself.

Scenario: Then there are the remarks that you stole him/her from them. Everything is YOUR fault. Their debt is YOUR fault. The child is now without a father/mother and it’s YOUR fault. The child has become rebellious and it’s YOUR fault. The child has to see a therapist and its YOUR fault.

Respond: None of this has to do with you. Their relationship did not work and he/she/they decided to end it because of obvious reasons. You were just the person he/she fell in love with after all the pain and hurt. So the simple fact that the marriage lacked love or any other thing for that matter and he/she found that with you, I call pure magic. The only Thing that’s YOUR fault is for being the bandage when he/she got hurt, the rest he/she accuses you off is a fight with her/his inner self.

Scenario: There are also some of the exes that just can’t seem to move forward or to leave the past in the past. They stalk you on whatsapp. They stalk your facebook account. It even gets so bad that they stalk everyone you might have contact with. They want to know what you’re doing and why you are doing it. They tell everyone that they know their EX-partner will come back to them it’s just a matter of time….. Wait… what???

Respond: Block him/her where ever possible. And just go about your normal life. Either they will grow up or grow tired of this, or they will still get sensation out of it who knows. But that’s just one of the cons of social media nothing is personal. We cannot keep all the monsters out. just know you did what you possibly could have done to prevent them from interfering. But we can only go as far as blocking that person or simply ignoring it.

Scenario: You also get the, I am better than you phase, why did he/she leave ME for YOU? Well if you dye your hair blue they dye theirs blue as well. If you jump into the river they will do it as well. All that they WANT TO PROVE is whatever you do they can do better!

Respond: Your spouse chose YOU. They WERE together and it just didn’t work out! Your spouse/partner chose to walk away so if the ex was so much better than you, why did your partner walk away in the first place to something even worse? Get it? None of us will make a dumb move like that ever (Not as far as I know). Why make a move that will leave us even more unhappy than before?

Scenario: My child will never call you mum or dad!

Respond: I understand fully, I wouldn’t want my child to go and call another woman mommy. BUT it’s not up to US. The child will decide whether she sees ‘that’ person worthy to call ‘mommy’ or ‘daddy’. In my case she was at her grandma’s after school and phoned me while I was at work, to ask me if it’s okay with ME, if she calls me mommy? I just said: ‘’Love, if YOU are comfortable calling me that, and if it feels right. You may’’. In no way was I trying to take her biological mothers place at all!! Should I have handled this situation differently?

And yes her mother did find out. She told her cousin and her cousin told her mother (the aunt) and the aunt told the mother. Long story short, she said the child double crossed her. Saddest part is she didn’t say this to ‘just anyone’ she told this to her 8 yr old. Now she calls me by name because she is too afraid. Sad isn’t it ?

Moving on….

Scenario: Playing the child. Getting the child to tell your ex partner you still love them. Getting the child to make snotty remarks or to do things.

Respond: Now this should really come with a WARNING! You are a mother/father! Don’t play the child card at all. I know you are hurt inside and all, but by doing this you are hurting those children even more than you are hurting right now! Don’t make the scar even deeper than it already is!!! No child deserves this at all. Divorce is hard enough on them already.

I am not saying all second or third ‘life partners/marriages’ goes through this. I am merely listing a few things I went through myself or other people that i know of. I want other people to see it for what it is and not for what they want it to be. Lot of us makes mistakes and yes marriage seems to be one of them. In the olden days people believed in marriage and it was a sin to even think about divorce. So a lot of children were raised with parents who cheated on each other because they couldn’t leave the marriage. A lot of children were raised with parents who just couldn’t live together or get along or even share a bed together. Why does a child have to go through that? What example do we set for our children? I always say two happy homes is better than one unhappy home. Believe me when I say I have never experienced a divorce in my life! As I have only have been married and still are married to one person. But I am seeing divorce from another perspective and I want to get it out of there!

DON’T see the second or more wives/husbands as the bad guys ever. They ARE NOT THE REASON WHY YOUR MARRIAGE FAILED. Not at all. They didn’t tell you to not give him affection. They didn’t tell you to tell everyone on his birthday that you had a ten year marriage out of hell. They didn’t tell you to not show him love. All those things lead to the big D word. And sometimes all those things doesn’t even occur. Don’t blame others for your unhappiness, or your happiness. The cards of life has been dealt to you and no one else, it’s up to you to play them. But do it wisely .The person that comes after you are just the bandage to all the hurt, maybe she is just the one who gave him all the things he actually wanted. You too will find happiness within. You too will find a bandage perfectly fit for all your hurt. You soon will find love and joy and laughter. Divorce takes time! That I do know as it took my husband over a year to get divorced. Divorce needs healing, it needs patience as well as understanding. Some divorces are even mutual agreements put into action…

You don’t know what they as couple had to go through to be where they are so don’t ever judge. Me saying this to the new or ex partners. It does not matter!!

I know sometimes the ‘new’ partner tries to make it difficult for the ex. I have no idea why and don’t understand it as I only wrote about my point of view and takes on this matter. But it surely is unnecessary and I do urge everyone to go on with life and be happy with YOU and what you have now, or even accomplished. Be proud of what you can do on your own. Concentrate on who you are and how far you have come. Don’t dare look back, because the past does not deserve your attention at all.

Like I said before don’t EVER use your child/ren as ammunition. You are hurt. Yes. But the children will hurt even more. And one day they might even resent you for using them as a shield. It’’s selfish in all ways possible. Just be the best parent you can be and the rest will automatically fall into place. Be strong for them and for yourself. And by doing all of these things I mentioned above, will not necessarily hold their ‘new’ partner/marriage/life’s back like you wanted it to. It only holds YOU back. It keeps YOU from moving forward in life and finding your chance to happiness. Happiness starts from within! It does not have to be all bad. Make the best out of a sticky situation! Learn from your mistakes. We all deserve happiness.

As for me and his children? The child from the first marriage is old enough now to take things from this life event what he learned. He has a mind of his own, will power and a need to succeed (just like his dad). We get along just fine. Then the child that’s from the second marriage. She is ten years of age now and we have a rather different relationship. We see more of each other etc. We understand each other. Now, here’s a thing I usually say: We will never have a mother-daughter relationship like the one I have with my own daughter, BUT we have a different kind. An unexplainable kind. There’s love, affection and care mixed all together. It will never me my own child and we will never have that relationship. But the relationship we do have is special.

I have truly learned a lot from my husband. He has been divorced 2 times. A lot of people will see that as a bad thing. I see it as courage. He was brave enough to leave a situation he didn’t find himself happy in, he left after trying numerous times. Who of us will dare and do that for OURSELVES? Above everything else and the past, he makes me feel like I am his FIRST EVER wife. He doesn’t give me reason at all to think that he might go back to them. Or that he is not over them. Or that their attempts will get between us. No not at all. He is a very strong, confident, independent and truly happy person. He had to deal with being criticized, being pushed away by family, and even mutual friends they shared. He had to play the bad guy in the tails that’s been told to people. But beside all the bad stuff he rose to be a stronger and better person than what he was before. Even given the chance I will never erase his past.

I have to admit. I made peace with the idea that they were a part of his life story. They caused the experiences and events which was part of the molding process of the person he is today. They were a part of his PAST. They will forever be a part of his future because they share children together. But this doesn’t bother me at all because he doesn’t give me reason for it to bother me. I ONLY concentrate on OUR marriage. What I can do to make OUR marriage the best. I don’t have to worry about not making mistakes that any of his ex wives made. I make mistakes that they made as well. I make mistakes that any of us will make in marriage time after time. But HE gave ME a clean sheet to write OUR story on. There are no visible marks on that piece of paper of previous written stories. There is no shadow that I have to walk or sit in to write this story and I will forever be grateful for that. Because even though I am his THIRD wife, I am his FIRST LOVE.

Quote: ‘’I don’t think I am BETTER than OTHERS, BUT I try to be a better person TODAY, than THE PERSON I was YESTERDAY.’’

Thanx for reading and don’t hesitate to drop me a comment below on what you think about this subject.

Lots of love

XoXo Pikkie

Welcome lil’ one *

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Wow, what an amazing feeling to see another addition added to the world or the family right??

This post goes out to my cousin and her hubby and their beautiful baby girl chanel.

Welcome to the world little one, I know you will be spoiled rotten!

To Roelien and Johan. Congrats on being parents for the first time. I know you guys would do an excellent job, and would be. amazing at it.

Enjoy the little one*

Lotsa love
XoXo Pikkie

No-Make-Up-Monday for those natural beauties

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Hey guys I know it’s tuesday and not Monday. But I gotta share this with you. I started a new trend called No-Make-Up-Monday. Its simply bout all the beautiful girls out there showing our natural beauty and that were not bound to make up. So next Monday I wanna see all of you flaunting your natural beauty to the world. Follow me on twitter@PikkieTrollip and join in on this !!

Love ya’ll beauties !
XoXo Pikkie

The Forbidden subject… SEX. :) Part 1

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Okay !

I am actually stepping over the taboo border!

New subject is: SEX!

I mean why not talk about it? It is the twenty first century right?

Okay so I am going to do a few blog entries with a few tips or just some information that I found interesting or rather useful.

So if you are ‘under-age’ I will advise you to rather Google games or winny the pooh. Because this is not meant for your eyes. Or at least not yet.

So for the perfect foreplay before the actual blog entries, here are some erotic reads, if you’re not reader! Pass them on to your spouse. Researchers show that erotic literatures are actually a great way to spark things up in bed. You have to actually Paint your own little picture in your head. Who knew we could come up with all these kind of images? Don’t know what I am talking about?

Read these:

On top of the list is 50 shades of grey trilogy written by E.L James of course. I find only the first book quite interesting. The rest are more of a story with sex and not sex with a story if you know what I mean.

Dom of my dreams Written by: M.F Sinclair

Diary of Anis Nin

A groom of one’s own .Written by: Maya Rodale

Lust in the library. Written by: Amalia Fayer

The claiming of sleeping beauty. Written by: Anne Rice

Aqua Erotica. Written by: Marry Anne Mohanraj

Seducing Sara. Written by: Jinx Jamison

Lady Sophie’s Lover. Written by: Lisa Kleypas

Enjoy

XoXo Pikkie

** Don’t forget to leave your comment or to subscribe. Love to hear from you

Testing AFFORDABLE cosmetics…

affHere’s the deal most of us won’t step out of the house without some make up on. Even though we do some times, we still want to look good on a night about town right? But who comes up with the prices of these cosmetic products, it’s ridiculous sometimes!

So for those who can’t afford MAC, YARDLEY, REVLON, etc. or can’t get a hold of Avon representatives, I went ahead and test some ‘AFFORDABLE’ ….yes affordable products. Some known (not WELL known) some not even heard about before. Most of them are available at some ‘china-shops’ nearby. So there is no reason for you to test it out for yourself.

Here is a list of the products that I got from a Korean cosmetic dealer:

NOTE : Not all of these products are made in Korea some are made in china, some in the Philippines, some even in France etc so don’t be scared of the places of origin or the products names.

~  Miss Five (Foundation, liquid eye liner, Mascara)

* Love miss five’s packaging!! Great products too

~  Aichun Beauty ( Lip repair)

* Works extremely well on severe dry and chapped lips

~  Seliela (Lipstick & lip-gloss)

* Loving the fact that you can put on lipstick and flip it around to put on matching gloss too

~  Mijona ( Foundation & Eye shadow)

* Lots of colors to choose from and the foundation is very smooth

~  Aifeier (XXL  volume + length Mascara)

~ This is a saver for people with short lashes, this truly gives volume

~  Aifeiya ( Magnum Volume Express Mascara & Liquid Eye liner)

* Love this products and it comes in true Asian culture packaging

~  Burjios (Eye liner stick)

* This is my fav its so easy to apply and it goes on so smoothly

~  Tru color (Mascara long lash)

* Just like any ordinary Mascara (Just cheaper J )

~  Rose honey (Eye shadow)

* Awesome packaging and colors too

~  Aili Kiss ( Foundation stick)

* Looks so chick and is smooth too

~  Jialiqi (Waterproof Mascara & Waterproof eye liner)

*Average eye liner and mascara

~  Ruilla ( Lip Gloss)

* Great flavors available to choose from

~  Eye ( False eyelash adhesive)

* Sticks perfectly and lasts till you take the lashes off. Don’t know about the waterproof part yet (Who goes swimming with lashes on? Please let me know J )

~  Baolishi ( Lipgloss, both liquid and plain eyeliner)

* Very chick and victorian type of packaging , the lipgloss is true Asian style and comes in great flavors

~  Yabaolian- truth love (Foundation)

* Very smooth and soft

~  Hualiya (Oil Free Foundation)

* Truly is soft on the skin and NOT OILY at all

Little more well known products :

  • My Look ( Lipstick & Lipgloss)
  • Essence (Eyeshadow, Gel Eye liner, Blush stain)
  • Beaute ( Foundation)
  • Lip ice (Jellos)
  • Yardley (Stayfast Gloss nail polish)

And my overall opinion:

These products are great! I have tested every one of them personally so far and I took my research a little further. Most of the cosmetics are NOT tested on animals… YAY!! But a little red light came up in some of the Korean products. 11 out of 12 whitening products ,like some foundations has shockingly a high mercury level which ranged from 1,085 to 28,600 ppm in breach of the country’s regulatory limits. So keep an eye open if it has the word whitening somewhere in it, and especially if it’s applied directly to the skin.

So back to the ‘YAY’ part of the story. It’s affordable, easy to get your hands on. And you can take two because it’s so cheap. Go share your secret with your friends and let them test it too.

Just do check the back for all of the ingredients listed, in case you are allergic or sensitive to it. If you don’t know if you are, test it on a small part of your neck or on the back of your hand.

So the truth is:

~ You don’t have to spend so much money on cosmetics

~ And yeah your friends may brag with their ‘branded products’ which makes yours just exotic and one of a kind.

~ Don’t be shy to be the only one using these products, be unique, be the one who introduces your friends to it. And who knows you might even make some pocket money while doing it as well.

~ The packagings are so beautiful, stylish, unique and cute too.

~ And yes it’s true you pay for quality in the ‘branded’ products but who says these brands are not quality? It’s up to you to decide.

But for now… I’m doing my make up with a smile. And yes I even have some change left to go out and show of my effortless yet inexpensive look!!

YAY!!

XoXo Pikkie

what the ?

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wow ! It’s been so long now since I have posted ANYTHING-AGAIN !

So yeah here I am again…. AGAIN. 

I’m married now have so much more responsibilities since my daughter has been born. we’ve moved several times I can’t count any more. So somewhere in between all of this chaos I will try and blog again..

I have this weird case on my hands. My husband and I are almost married two years this december. When we got married on our marriage certificate my ‘new’ surname were only spelled with one L so we’ve sent it back and after several months we got the new certificate . So excited that everything is rectified at last I just put it away. now almost after having it for a year I found out not only was my name misspelled but I am not under my ‘new’ surname but rather on my maiden name !

I was extremely overwhelmed with anger. Yes we all make mistakes but I for instance ALWAYS double check when I am filling in a form to avoid future complications. And I triple check when I am filling in someone else’s forms for them. Its just standard procedure.

But we are not allowed to get mad when things like these happen. It’s just that we have to go sit in an endless line wasting precious time on paperwork that could have been done right from the beginning. And that my medical aid were suspended because non of what I say and what my I.D say or my marriage certificate are the same… Oh boy I just love being a newly wed ! with paper troubles to actually show that I am in fact married.

So to everybody out there getting married in a few days, weeks, months maybe years. No matter who did the paper work even if it was YOU double check it.

XoXo Pikkie