Thé dream job BABY

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Go ahead, ask me what i do for a living… I dare you !

I got a call the other day from one of those, – i’m- gonna -sell-random-weird-stuff-to-you-over-the-phone… and ofcourse she wanted to know what i do for a living.
My response? “I’m a stay at home mom.”
Ooh wow, thats luxury. I’d love to stay home all day, but  you propably get bored real quick.”

Well i guess what i do, is way damn better than her job.

But ooh honey, let me tell you how much you would love to:
Wake up every morning at 5 am to make sure your husband gets up for work
Pack him lunch and make him breakfast
When you say goodbye, tiptoeing through the house and sneaking into your own damn bedroom. Scared that you could loose another half an hour of sleep if one of the kids wake up you are screwed babe.
Having an alarm clock that wears footsie pajammas and wakes you every morning at six…. thats to say if you got back to sleep.
Making breakfast , not for yourself oh forget all that you get is a cup of joe. And you wont even be able to drink it in peace promise you that.
Oh and dont forget to clean up the mess, coz i mean… you dont want to get “bored real quick” now don’t you ?

After that you get everyone dressed, so that, if seen in public they dont look homeless, like they do when they are actually at home. Oh and you dont get dressed just yet. There is no time for that. Make sure everyone has something to amuse them with and go about your chores…. you know like, making beds, scrubbing floors, cleaning toillets, picking up toys, vacuming, mopping floors, doing the dishes and the laundry. And in between all of that you have to be available to anyone of the children 100%. For snacks, ouchies and booboos, to watch them go to the potty (yup, thats a big thing for them), change of wardrobe, nappy changes, bottle feeds, naps, ramdomly crying for nothing. The list goes on I just dont have the time to list them now i have a pending potty trip now…

Okay i’m back.

You have to clean up puke, pee and poop. Maybe over the floor, maybe over the couch, maybe on your bed but most of the time on YOU. Then before hubby gets home you hope and pray that baby is still napping so you can quickly take a damn shower. So that you atleast smell nice and not like pee or poop. Then you pick up all of the ‘new-old’ toys they found so that it actually looks like you did clean the damn house. You make dinner.  And go watch your soaps…. ahhhh this is life…. nope ! Its on damn disney channel. And baby just woke up. So you manoeuvre around with her on your hip to finish dinner, oh and did i mention the growing belly (ya, thats lil monster nr 3 in there). While you finish up a shit load of other stuff.

He gets home. You need a break… just five minutes but nope. You first put your toddler in the shower. Get her dressed. Bath the baby, get her ready for bed. Then you shower… again. And when you want to climb in bed thats when a million and one things go wrong ! Baby need a nappy change, baby needs a bottle, toddler needs cuddles and a quick change of movie and wardrobe…. or a snack, a drink of water…did i mention a wardrobe change? More toillet breaks, maybe she needs a pink fluffy dinosaure with red spots and one green eye.. and believe me even if you are running on fumes you have to perform magic in times like these….

Finally get to bed… so hubby needs some loving (you know… like cuddles and stuff) during the night you have to get up a billion times. 5 min into the unknown world where you think dreams come true and that unicorns exist. Its 5 am and the day starts all over again.

So please tell me again how i bore mysef to death just chilling at home. With my feet up. Sipping cocktails. With umbrellas. Wearing chanel nr 5 instead of poop…
Still want to be me?

Honey, you dont know what you’re missing because i wont trade this for the world !!

But ask me what i do for a living.
I dare you!  😉

XoXo Pikkie

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